Us VS Them: A cultural issue - Liberal VS Conservative

So in this age, it seems like there is always some war... Us VS Them. Liberals VS Conservatives, Democrats VS Republicans, Theists VS Atheists, Gay VS Straight, 1% VS 99%... I could probably go on for quite a while before running out of match ups. The news sounds like some sort of wrestling match set up more days than not any more.

I've thought a lot about how to break down these things... Us VS Them is a very good concept when you want to divide people, and don't fool yourself, the current day politicians are masters at it. As long as the average Americans are divided among themselves, they really have a free hand to do just about anything they care to.

So what do you have... Us... and Them... Two groups normally too angry to actually stop and look at what they actually are... try to find similarities, or even try to work things out together. So first let's start with a defining exercise.

I like to start with Liberals VS Conservatives. Personally, I'm a libertarian (please note the small L, I am in no way associated with any brand name political party), so when with a liberal, I come off conservative, and when with a conservative I come off liberal... but let's actually LOOK at what these words mean.

First, strict dictionary definitions:

Liberal - a philosophy that considers government as a crucial instrument for amelioration of social inequities (as those involving race, gender, or class)

Conservative - a political philosophy based on tradition and social stability, stressing established institutions, and preferring gradual development to abrupt change

Now, the biased definitions:

Liberal - A person who doesn't not consider the whole picture, idealist, unrealistic, condescending.

Conservative - A person who is more interested in the interests of those already well off, stuck up, condescending.

Something I find humorous about both of these groups is that a Conservative is likely to call a Liberal a "Socialist" in a negative manner... where a Conservative is likely to be branded a "Nazi" citing their supposedly narrow scope of caring. Now, when one considers the fact that Nazis began as the National Socialist Party... aren't they technically calling each other the same thing?

I have recently met a person who enjoys pointing out that Socialism isn't a bad thing. There are, indeed, a number of 'socialist' services that are nearly necessary in running of society. Fire departments, police, even the US Military could be considered a socialist service.

Now, as you can see, both sides of this argument can be considered condescending. Honestly they both commit what a libertarian considers a cardinal sin... they both assume to know what's best for everyone. But note in the strict definition... there really isn't a lot of overlap. Conservatives are in favor of stability, Liberals in favor of change. Conservatives prefer change to be gradual, Liberals want things to be done NOW.

There are a number of people who will add religion into the equation, Liberals will site the normal Conservative views as "unchristian" (i.e. stance on welfare, national health care and so on), and Conservatives will site many of the Liberal views as "unchristian" (i.e. the willingness to terminate an unborn child)... personally I believe these are thrown out to manipulate people. Religion is a strong driving factor to most, so the moment you attempt to attack them on that level, people WILL rally. Now, how it's used is dependent on what people want.

The Us VS Them mindset is most visible on Facebook. Here you find people blaming one side or the other for all the wrongs in the world, ending with things like "Vote Democrat!" or "Vote Republican!". Personally, the idea of voting for a person purely based on what party they're with seems like a gross over simplification of a more complicated issue. Unfortunately for these posts, many of the Democrats have often voted against many things that their supporters making these posts are blaming on the Republicans, and visa versa. There is not a single politician in this country that can claim they've ONLY ever voted for one set of ideals.

The sad thing about this is that the public is far more interested in who's slept around than what someone's voting record is. While sleeping around may not be the best example of moral straightness (for that matter, neither is being straight... just saying) when it comes to how a person is  helping shape our country, I think what they're doing while actually working is more important than what they may do in their free time.

I have much more to say... but I hope this bit gives people more of an idea. This isn't about which one is better, because I don't believe either one is... and the games people play need to be put to a stop. This is about shedding light into what's quickly becoming as gross as racism. I can't say calling all Republicans corrupt, or all Liberals stupid is much better than trying to claim all blacks are criminals or gays are child molesters. It's socially unacceptable to infer either of these things about blacks or gays, yet it's fine to attack someone just because you disagree, however... the rest is for another night :)

Right Now

Right now... seems to be a lot of the problem with the country any more. What don't I have 'right now', why can't I have it 'right now'... the ability to plan, to work, to EARN things seems to have gone out the window over all.

Right now... Right now is an important moment. You have to make sure you enjoy the moment you have... the time you have... but at the same time, forgetting to plan for future moments, or expecting everything you want to just be there... half of life is the journey, and it's so forgotten any more.

Ugh.

So I'm well aware I'm not perfect... I know I do things the wrong way, but if there's one thing I am, it's loyal. I may tell the truth about a friend, but never without reinforcing the fact that I care about them and while it may be the truth, there's many points of them that makes these minor flaws absolutely nothing.

So when I'm accused of talking about someone I care about behind their back? I explode a little. I don't "talk behind" anyone's back. I don't say anything to anyone I wouldn't say directly to the person I'm discussing, and more likely than not, the person I'm discussing KNOWS I how I feel already, so there's really no reason to discuss it with them further. I know they won't change, and they won't change my mind (well they might, but generally I know they won't bother with the things that would do so).

The worst part of it is knowing someone who should know me better than that, and having them believe such lies... or worse lying about it to me.

I hate people... I have problems with people... I have problems trusting people. I'm not going to betray those I DO trust for stupid things like popularity in a game. Online friends or not, when I give a person my trust, it's across all borders. Love is love, no matter where it is or what it is.

Losing a friend is painful, but it does happen. It's worse when there's been no chance to salvage what was there, instead just pushed away on the words of... who? I don't know. I can just hope it was someone that I actually talk to so they have at least a little credibility.

So...

Peeeeople suck.

Life sucks and I hate people

I know it's an amazingly cheery attitude to have... but it's how I feel more often than not. Especially after the last two weeks.

First I have a surgery to try to fix my supra ventricular tachycardia. The doctor is either flat out amazing or an absolutely amazing asshole. I tried to have a cardiac ablation, where first they map the electrical pathways in the heart, and then try to burn or really just kill the cells causing the issue.  Now, from what you see on the internet, the mapping itself could take between 2 and 6 hours... if they find the place right away, then the surgery itself could be 4 hours but could last up to 8... I was in an hour and a half.

So I don't know if the guy gave up or what, but I then spent the better part of a week recovering from surgery that didn't even do what I wanted it to do. Then the doctors basically just like "couldn't find it, here's some drugs, you might have to keep trying different drugs."

Now I don't really like drugs, I can barely remember to take the ones I'm supposed to take now. To just add more like it's nothing... just seriously makes me angry. Of course I'm going to review the records with my doctor and see about doing it again... but it still makes me angry.

Then of course I saw the rheumatologist, and I've now been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Which sort of isn't too big a surprise, and is a bit of a relief... I've ached for years. Most of my life I've had ache and pains and hurt in many ways... it's nice to know there's a reason.

Of course this comes with a bit of social anxiety, not that I really needed more. I'm not planning to rub it in the world's face, but those that do find out... there are any number of people who really use this somewhat difficult to diagnose disease to get away with shit... I don't really want people to think I'm one of them. I work through a great deal of pain on a daily basis, but even I get weak and fall sometimes, need a rest... but I try hard to work through all my problem.

I have a lot of problems in my life... some of them I bring on myself... some of them are my fault. On the plus side, I know now some of the things I've ruined where slightly less than consciously, doesn't make it better, but I know now why some things happen... it gives me the ability to work harder in the future.

I still hate people... but I love those friends who have stood by me, who have dealt with my tantrums, and remained by my side through it all, forgiven me for so much. I look forward to getting myself into a place I can be the person I know I am.

Life

So, we all have our problems in life... some worse than others, and of course when someone comes to us with a problem, all many of us can do is compare them to where we are in our own lives.

The issue with this is... while we may be okay with where we are, while we may feel strong in our position, and on outside observation where we are may be worse than where the other person is... telling someone how much worse you have/had it really does no good. In the end every person has to deal with where they are... not where you are.

When trying to help someone in the situation they're in, it does no good to tell them about people who have it worse, you can't degrade the way they feel. Yes, you may think you're providing examples that should uplift them, but in the end they have to deal with their lives, and their abilities may be less than the other comparisons you're drawing.

To make someone feel better, you first have to understand there's nothing wrong with how they feel in the first place, even if it might seem like an overreaction to a situation that yourself or someone else would handle with more grace and ease. The strength to handle such things doesn't happen all at once, it takes time, and they may have just been lucky and never had to accrue such strength in their life.

We can all hope we don't need the strength to do such things... but when you get there, don't forget the battle you fought, and help people understand they can too... not because where you are is worse, but because whatever is happening in their life will end, and the too will have the strength.

Perception

So... reality is perception. What do you do when someone's perception differs from your own?

If you know you're somewhere but someone never sees you there, then are you there? At what point do you allow other people's perceptions to change your own? Or do you try to change theirs? Of course there's a major issue in that people don't like to tell they're wrong... less so when you just say it instead of making it sound pretty for them.

God knows my ability to put things in a language that people won't rile to isn't exactly the best, but at the same time, I also know if things aren't discussed, problems don't get fixed. I may disagree with a person, but that doesn't change the person I think they are... I can disagree with someone without losing respect for them or caring for them less, but I think people get far too attached to their ideas.

I don't know... it just seems like a good idea to understand other people's positions, for one it can give you more information and insight into your own points of view, but so few people really seem willing to respectfully discuss their opinions. It's like to so many that just because you disagree that you must need to be enemies... I'm not sure why people can't come together on things...